rsvp is a confusing term nowdays
- Don’t print RSVP at the bottom of an invitation and expect all of the recipients to know what it means and how to respond. Today, it is an often misunderstood term. Even if the recipient grew up in a socially conscious Western European culture these four letters can mean different things. I was taught by my socially conscious parents that there was a big difference between capitalization. (R.S.V.P versus RSVP versus rsvp. I won’t go into the differences here, because they are, apparently, quickly becoming archaic.) Now think about a guest who may have come from, say, a middle eastern culture or western African background. Don’t put something on an invitation that can be the source of confusion. I would recommend that you refrain from using RSVP on your invitations. Instead specify what you want. “Please phone or email no later than June 1st and let us know if you will be attending.” or “Please complete the enclosed response card and mail it back by June 1st."
- —Guest Mark Beatty
English please
- I honestly thought it meant respond only if you plan to attend.
- —Guest Nan
I was Ignorant of RSVP
- Actually, I didn't know the meaning of RSVP until the 16th of this Month, September, 2010. I love that when I got to know the meaning.
- —Guest Derrick P. Barshell
It's just rude
- I'm hosting a baby shower in a few weeks. I sent out sixty invitations and have only received about fifteen responses. The mother-in-law hasn't even had the decency to respond. It's terribly rude. I'm paying a caterer by the person. Please respond people.
- —Guest Patb
Barely Know English
- This is one of those acronyms that need to be purged from English. If a word (foreign or not) no longer achieves its expected effects, it's time to put it to rest. But I do appreciate the explanation.
- —Guest Barely Know English
REALLY!
- So I am currently planning a party with a guest list of 95people. Have put RSVP on the invite. We have only heard from 1/2 of the guests and my cohosts think we should just "guess" at the number of people coming to order food! I am trying to track people down to get a more accurate count but no one else seems to think it is a problem? The response I get it, "no one does that anymore" Well they should!!! Several of the guests are even party planners and have not responded! O'well I suppose we will just guess at the final numbers and hope we have enough food!
- —Guest upset
Cut and Dry
- Look translation or not, if you see a phone number, a return mailing card or an email address----YOU USE IT! My cousin and I are hosting a Baby Shower for our other cousin next month. We are traveling out of state to make it more convenient for all of our family and friends to attend. We sent the invitations out 6 weeks ahead of time in order for the out-of-towners (mostly our family) to be able to make travel arrangements without breaking the bank. The invite included a phone number, an email address & I even said that it was ok for them to write on my Facebook Wall to let me know. I will tell you that MOST of my family were brought up with manners & they responded to the RSVP with a "Yes" or a "No". We were all brought up with manners. So with the RSVP date fast approaching, I get to contact my cousin and ask her to contact HER inconsiderate friends & ask them if they are coming. Tacky, rude & borderline pathetic. Using the excuse of being "Lost in French translation is Bull!
- —Guest Jamie
RSVP
- Are you kidding me? I am hosting a wedding shower at my home and I cannot believe how many people haven't responded, even though we put a respond by date with phone number and e-mail address. I honestly think people are getting so rude, lazy and just plain stupid. If you show up and there is not enough food,etc. that is a you problem, not a me problem. You will be held accountable for your actions and you only have yourself to blame. I can only hope these same people take the wedding invite a little more seriously. Cause if you show up for the wedding and I haven't accounted for you, sorry about your luck. I have far more important things to worry about than your lack of manners!!!! Thanks for letting me vent. Also when you don't respond, think of the feelings of the person you are not responding to. How would you feel if the tables were reversed?
- —Guest Susan
Don't RSVP and show up?? RUDE!
- We've thrown many parties and requested an RSVP and some people will call and say they can't make it.. and then no one else calls to say if they are coming.. so we make other plans assuming that no one is coming and then half the invited people that never responded show up after we decided to do something else. What is it with all these rude people? Can't even call to let you know they are coming? Seriously it cost an arm and a leg to have a party catered...and when you can't even call to say you are coming it is just plain rude. I hate it when people don't respond but I always assume if they don't respond that they are NOT coming.
- —Guest grrr
Annoying !!!
- We have within the past 2 weeks sent out invitations to our wedding blessing, and previous to this advised our guests that we wish to know numbers as we are laying on food at the venue for all. Not one person to date has responded to the invitations, despite writing RSVP on them with our telephone number etc. I just find it so rude that people don't seem to be bothered, and it's usually those people who, when they are having a to-do of some sort, insist on knowing there and then if you are attending or not. RSVP does of course mean "let us know if you are attending OR not". It's just common courtesy. We now face having to call all of our guests like the previous 'bride to be' to see who is coming. Perhaps there are too many people these days who have been brought up without manners!!! Come on think of the host! They have taken the trouble and given their time to invite you, so the least you can do is to let someone know if you intend to come or not!! Seriously how long does it really take to make a quick phone call!!!???
- —juloz
Wedding Directions
- You don't know how many times people have showed up to the wedding reception and get upset when they do not have a seat. When you ask if they returned their RSVP card, they say, is that what that card was for. When my daughter gets married, the RSVP card will say, If you would like a seat for the reception. please send this card BACK !!!
- —Guest Yoyo
OOPS!!!
- I feel so bad!, I was invited to a party and it said please RSVP, I thought it meant respond if you can come. Well I couldn't cause I sprained my ankle and it just wasn't going to work. So after the party that I didn't go to I asked my mom if I should just send her a present. And then I had to explain how I didn't respond because my mom thought the party was the next weekend so now I'm kind of in trouble and just have to call my friend and apolgize! I FEEL SO BAD!!!!
- —Guest Janie
Rude or not its tacky to not reply
- Not responding to an invitation, especially one by email is simply stating the host is not important enough for 15 seconds of your time. It also sends the message that you would like to keep your options open in case some better opportunity presents itself. To hide behind semantics because the direct French translation is "if it pleases you" is a sad commentary. How about the golden rule. As a host would you like everyone to respond? If the answer is no you are either filthy rich enough to waste the extra party fare or a lousy party planner.
- —Guest Bill
Points
- Point 1: My favorite redundancy "Please RSVP" = "Please please reply." (Second favorite redundancy "with au jus" = "with with juice.") Point 2: Unless acronym/initials or abbreviations are rude, "RSVP" cannot be rude. It is the initials of polite request, in French. Point 3: When attendance is assumed unless the guest/invitee so informs the host/inviter, "Regrets only" is used in place of "RSVP."
- —Guest Allen
Our Wedding
- For our wedding (my second and her third) we sent out our invitations to our family members only, with a reply card. We asked number attending and did not ask for their name. We did not pre-print their names (The invitations were only sent to relatives.) on the return card. No one, absolutely no one put their name on the card, nor on the return envelope (as in return name and address.). We figured out several by their postmark. Not all responded. We asked for response whether coming or not. We ended up calling, to get an accurate count. Yes, we called everyone and they were all bewildered, after all they did send their card. Yes, they did but without their name, so who know who was coming? We required an exact count, for the hotel. We were paying by the number in attendance. No matter how simple you make it. It seems to me that there are more people than not, have no clue whatsoever. Except when they have an event and they get really upset when others don't respond.
- —Guest Baffled
