Entertaining

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Entertaining Anxiety

Your in-laws call to say they've found great last minute prices on tickets to your city, and "could we please come see the grandkids this weekend"? Or, maybe next week it's your turn to host your book discussion group. Perhaps you'd like to invite the woman you've been dating over for dinner, except the last time you entertained, it was sitting down with the movers over pizza and a six-pack. These and countless other social situations can bring on anxiety in the best of us.

In recent years I've had to come to terms with my perfectionist nature and the realities of entertaining in a home blessed with the pitter-patter of little feet. As much as I would love to be the next Martha Stewart, I more often feel like The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe. Granted, I only have two little children. But I am constantly navigating the ever-present obstacle course of plastic food strewn across the kitchen floor, with my two-year-old running in circles, as my four-year-old pulls my arm to come see her artwork in the den (which I pray is not on the walls!). Putting breakfast on the table is a challenge, let alone planning for guests. I no longer have the time to plan or prepare as I did in my life before kids (B.K.).

In my life B.K., I would spend hours pouring over cooking magazines looking for just the perfect seasonal menu. I would visit the florist to choose the right flowers for my centerpiece. I'd go to the liquor store to pick the perfect wine to accompany my menu. Then I'd spend hours in the kitchen preparing everything from scratch, starting with the bread basket for my homemade spinach dip, to the pastry for my grand finale almond tart.

My highest ambition these days is to have a couch clear of stuffed animals, a bottle of wine left from our last Geerlings and Wade order, and something more creative to serve than Spam on a cracker.

Of course, some people I know don't sweat the details, and seem ready to entertain a crowd on a moment's notice. My sister-in-law is one of those gifted individuals who can confidently throw a lovely party with minimal preparation. Her home is always festooned with fresh flowers (not the limp, week old bouquet from the supermarket); she can create a menu without pondering for days and then casually runs out for groceries at the last minute. She makes cooking the meal such a fun activity, her guests beg to help chop the vegetables, just to be part of the action. She will graciously pour everyone a large glass of wine, and saunter through her kitchen as though the table were already set and the food had been laid out hours before.

I can guarantee you, that's not my style.

I would sooner stay up the whole night before a party, than prepare the feast with my guests milling about, and tripping over my daughter's cheerful collection of crayons. I want to feel in control of the situation, with most food prepared in advance, the serving pieces set out, and the table set. I also entertain better when I can focus on my guests and not on the cooking.

Next Page>How to Plan Ahead for Easy Entertaining>Page 1,2, 3

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