I recently had the opportunity to interview Leah Ingram, a nationally recognized wedding expert and author of three wedding books. Her latest is "Your Wedding Your Way" (Contemporary Books, 2000), which offers advice on how to personalize a wedding.
Donna Pilato: Hi Leah. You've had the opportunity to speak with many engaged couples while researching your wedding books. What can you tell us about the latest trends in bridal showers?
Leah Ingram: I'm seeing two trends. The first trend is that people are hosting more couple showers. Men have become much more involved in the wedding process. With more couples paying for their own weddings, the groom doesn't want to feel left out of the pre-wedding festivities. The friends or family planning the showers have become tuned in to this.
DP: So, are couple bridal showers any different than all women showers?
LI: Having men present makes the whole thing much more relaxed. You see less of the traditions such as bouquets and hats made from the bows and ribbons. And the showers are more often held at the couple's favorite hangouts such as a restaurant or a bar, or even at a friend's house for brunch.
DP: You mentioned two trends - what's the other?
LI: The latest trend in women-only showers is that women are now doing things. A popular activity has become spending a day at the spa. Often the bridal party does this. Everyone attending the shower is signed up for two or three spa services. The organizer reserves a space at the spa so that everyone can eat lunch together and exchange gifts. Sometimes the guests pitch in together to pay for the bride's services, as their shower gift for her. Another activity-centered shower that has become popular is going out for pizza and bowling.
DP: With all of these updates to wedding shower traditions, which rules of etiquette have been most affected?
LI: The traditional etiquette that a shower must be thrown by a non-family member is passé. Most people are no longer afraid of the etiquette police coming after them. If the mother of the bride hosts the shower, people don't look upon it negatively, as if the mother is just looking for gifts. They simply see her doing something nice for her daughter.
