RSVP - The Other Point of View
Tuesday February 20, 2007
Any regular reader of this site knows that I have pretty strong feelings about the need to RSVP when an invitation asks for one. Good manners aside, it's important for the party planner to know how many guests to expect so that he or she can have enough food, seating, party favors, etc. However, I just received this email from a reader who feels that there are times when it's acceptable not to respond. This is what he wrote:
"It is not rude in my opinion to not respond to a RSVP when the sender does not provide a return response card. It places the recipient in an awkward position when they wish to decline and must say "no" personally. In some situations there may exist legitimate reasons why they don't care to contact the person."
Do you agree with this reader? Do you only respond when a response card is included? Share your thoughts in our comments below.
"It is not rude in my opinion to not respond to a RSVP when the sender does not provide a return response card. It places the recipient in an awkward position when they wish to decline and must say "no" personally. In some situations there may exist legitimate reasons why they don't care to contact the person."
Do you agree with this reader? Do you only respond when a response card is included? Share your thoughts in our comments below.
Comments
Blank notecards are available in every stationery (and grocery, and drug, etc.) store. If you don’t want to call the person, you can get one on your own. The inviter shouldn’t have to provide one.
When I had a party in October, I provided a phone number AND email address for the rsvp response. Nothing could be easier for someone than to simply be able to send a quick email.
I’ve done the same thing, Wanda, on my last few invitations. Although, only one person has taken me up on the email response. But at least that gives someone who is looking to avoid responding verbally a way out without turning every invitation into a formal one with a response card.
You don’t need to respond to say no. RSVP are for those that are saying they are going. Only plan for people who affirmed to come.
I have to disagree a little with you Lisa-Marie. For a large, more commercial type of invitation, that may be the case. But for invitations extended for personal events, RSVP means to respond whether or not you plan to come. If someone didn’t RSVP, I would never assume they’re not coming. It might mean they didn’t receive the invitation. And then we’d both be in the uncomforable position of my calling to see if you received the invite, and if you’re planning to come.
I have to disagree with Lisa Marie too. The whole idea for response card is to get answers from guests wether they are coming or not. And It is a simple form of common courtesy to respond to one.
If you are choosing not to attend and do not wish to RSVP in person or on the telephone, I think it is perfectly ok to mail a notecard with your regrets. In my opinion ANY form of responding (email, snail mail, voice mail) is better than not responding at all
Question: When I respond to an invitation that lists my name “and guest,” should I include my guest’s name on the line with mine or just “and guest”?
Hi Kate-
I would recommend including your guest’s name if you would like the seating card to show both names.