Donna's Entertaining Blog

It may seem like no big deal to bring along one or even a few extra guests to a party. After all, the more the merrier, right? The host has already cooked for the rest of the guests, the party's in full swing, so what's the big deal? In fact, it happens all the time. Have you done this, or ever had your guests bring along extras to your party? Share your experiences in the comments section, and I'll tell you my answer to this reader's question on whether it's rude to bring uninvited guests to a party.

Sometimes I receive questions from readers that bring into focus the changeable nature of etiquette rules. Procedures that were once a given, gradually shift along with our lifestyles. Take this letter I received from a reader:

"I send my hand written notes through the mail even if I am sending it to someone that I might see soon. I have a co-worker who has written thank you notes recently since she was just married. She placed these notes in my work mail slot and to be honest, I felt disheartened by the fact that she didn't feel they needed to be mailed. I put a considerable amount of time, money and thought into hosting a wedding shower and giving her gifts over the past 6 months. While I was glad that she wrote a note, I thought such a thing should be mailed. Do you feel that thank you notes should be mailed or am I just being picky?"

You can read my response to this question, but first I'd like to know what you think. Do you feel that it's still proper form to mail your thank you notes, or is any way acceptable to send one, as long as the thanks are expressed? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

We were so busy last week, getting ready for the new school year, that we didn't get around to our back-to-school party until yesterday. Since my girls are older, they need less guided activity than when they were younger. So we tidied up the yard and put out a bunch of balls, jump ropes, and other outdoorsy things. I set out picnic blankets and they ate their lunch al fresco. Once the kids became tired we put on the school-themed movie "School of Rock" which they all seemed to enjoy. This movie isn't appropriate for younger kids, but for this age group it was great. I made the Pencil Cake (shown here) from the recipe at Family Fun. It wasn't too difficult, and it would be good for other school themed parties such as back-to-school night or even PTA meetings.
_{Photo © Donna Pilato}

The beginning of the school year is my cue to start planning my daughter's October birthday party. We've had at-home, theme parties for her since she began grade school and that's the kind of party she always requests. This year her guest list may include the soccer team too, making the number of kids much larger than I am willing to accommodate in my home. So we've begun exploring outside options for her party. The front runner is a roller skating party, which would be a lot of fun for fourth graders. However, I still feel a little guilty about not having the party at home. But, I know that two dozen active fourth graders is a dozen too many to have running around my house. Where do you draw the line?

Over the past week I've received gifts from the garden from both my father and my husband. That's why I have zucchini, tomatoes, blackberries, and cucumbers all ready to be used in some sort of wonderful dish. It's very easy to fall back on my usual recipes for these ingredients, but it's even better that I was able to review this new cookbook from British gardener and cook Sarah Raven. In my review of "In Season: Cooking with Vegetables and Fruits" you'll see how timely and inspirational this book can be for any cook or hostess faced with an abundance of produce on her kitchen counter.
_{Photo © Rizzoli USA}

Over the upcoming Labor Day weekend, we're going to be on the road quite a bit, attending local events. There's a music festival we enjoy every summer, an auto race that my husband put into the schedule and, of course, our last hurrah at the local pool. While it's possible to purchase food at each of these places, I'm not looking forward to eating road food all weekend long. That's why I've put together a quick and easy picnic menu to take along with us to at least one of these outings. That way I won't feel too guilty when I succumb to the lure of the ice cream truck.
_{Photo © Donna Pilato}

It seems that readers submit many more photos of birthday cakes made for girl parties than boy parties. That just doesn't seem fair, does it? So I've decided to round up a selection of cute boy cake photos that have been sent to me, to help inspire you bakers with little boys in your family. After all, little boys love cake too.

Lego Theme Birthday Cake
Pirate Ship Cake
Buzz Lightyear Cake
Cars Cake
_{Photo © Tiffani Fooshee}

I'm trying very hard to ignore the signs. Temperatures didn't make it out of the 70's today. Coaches are calling with soccer schedules. And friends are already discussing the summer in the past tense. Although I'd like to bury my head in the sand, no one is letting me. A Labor Day End of Summer Party may have to find its way into the schedule to help ease me into the unavoidable, high energy season ahead.

My older daughter just got her new class assignment over the weekend. Suddenly, going back to school is an unavoidable reality. I'm not sure who feels more gloomy about it, me or the girls. For them there's the prospect of scary teachers (aren't they all on the first day?), homework, and tests. For me, there's the return to carpooling, school forms, and checking homework. To take our minds off of this ugly reality, I plan to get the girls together with some of their friends over the next few weeks to look at the bright side of going back - seeing friends who have been away all summer. That's why I always recommend a Back-to-School Party for any family facing the same jitters that we are.

At the risk of overstating a point, I believe most summer parties should be held outdoors whenever the weather allows. That goes for cocktail parties too. Light a few tiki torches, put some speakers around your patio, and take the party outside. Since the party is mainly drinks and hors d'oeuvres, with an occasional sweet tossed in for fun, the menu is simple to plan and prepare. Try some of the menu choices on this cocktail party menu, or turn to these easy summer hors d'oeuvres, and you'll find yourself wondering why you never tried this before.